It appears these days you’re more likely to find a unicorn tap-dancing on the roof of Westminster than hear someone proudly declare they’re English without being called a racist, reported to HR, or gently herded toward a mandatory diversity wokeshop (deliberate spelling mistake).

Somehow, don’t ask how, nobody knows how, we’ve ended up in a world where saying “I’m British” gets a polite nod, but saying “I’m English” results in the sort of awkward silence normally reserved for when someone farts during a moment of remembrance.

Meanwhile, our Celtic cousins have it sorted. The Welsh belt out “Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau” like they’re auditioning for the finals of X-Factor Cymru, and the Scots growl “Flower of Scotland” with enough fire and passion to scare the English Rugby team into missing every penalty for the next decade. And quite right too – they should be proud of their roots, and I must admit I am massively jealous. (NOTE: The Welsh even have “Yma O Hyd”)

But then it’s England’s turn. What do we get – “God Save The King.”

Nice sentiment. Not massively stirring, but OK (ish). But it’s not ours, is it? It’s not the English national anthem. It’s the national anthem of The United Kingdom. Just out of interest how many of you know the second verse?

So, why is it that the Welsh and Scots get national anthems, but the English are expected to sit quietly and borrow one? It’s like turning up to a family portrait and being told to stand at the back and let the others do the smiling.

Anyway, before I start frothing at the mouth like a bulldog that’s swallowed a Union Flag, here’s a poem that sums it all up quite nicely:

OUR ENGLAND

Goodbye, my England, so long, old friend
Your days are numbered, being brought to an end.
To be Scottish, Irish or Welsh, that’s just fine,
But don’t say you’re English, that’s way out of line!

The French and the Germans may call themselves such,
As may the Norwegians, the Swedes, and the Dutch.
You can say you are Russian or maybe a Dane,
But don’t say you are English ever again.

At Broadcasting House, that word is taboo,
In Brussels, they’ve scrapped it, and in Parliament too.
Even schools are affected; staff do as they’re told,
They mustn’t teach children about the England of old.

Writers like Shakespeare, Milton or Shaw,
Do pupils not learn about them anymore?
How about Agincourt, Hastings, or Mons?
Where England lost hosts of her very brave sons.

We’re not Europeans; how can we be?
Europe is miles away, over the sea!
We’re English from England, let’s all be proud.
Stand up and be counted, shout it out loud!

Let’s tell Whitehall and Brussels too.
We’re proud of our heritage, not just red, white, and blue.
Fly the flag of St. George AND the Union Flag!
Let the World know ENGLAND is back!

There you go. Stirring stuff. And whether you’re humming along, nodding in agreement, or shouting into a teacup – just remember this:

Being English isn’t a crime.

At least not yet.

Moose out. 🦌💂‍♂️🇬🇧

Author: Moose