WARNING: If you are easily offended, leave this site NOW!
WARNING: If you are easily offended, leave this site NOW!
Trigger Warning (for the Terminally Delicate).
If you’re easily offended – or worse, like to get offended on behalf of others – this probably isn’t your safe space. Leave this site NOW!
Do yourself a favour: close the tab, grab a kale smoothie, and go find a mindfulness podcast. You’ll be happier there.
This site is not for Lycra wearing eco-warriors, tofu apostles, or professional outrage collectors.
If you wear socks with sandals or use ‘problematic’ unironically, you might want to bow out now.
Still Here? Excellent!
That means you are part of the endangered species known as Normal Humans with a Sense of Humour.
Welcome to the Moose Almighty Family – a fine herd of misfits, mavericks, and drunk philosophers.
About Comments.
We love comments – good ones, bad ones, weird ones, even the occasional unhinged ramble. Engagement is the name of the game.
But if your post comes steaming straight from Wank Puffin Island, it’ll be deleted faster than you can say, ‘I wonder what Greta is up to this week?’
If, however, your comment is clever, funny, or makes us choke on our beer, it will stay up – and we might even reply with some quality banter.
Guest Contributors Wanted.
Got something to say that didn’t escape from the Ministry of Woke? Send us your article, photo, rant, or random spark of brilliance. Head over to our contact page and pitch it to us.
As you can see, we have set the bar quite low.
Absolute Final Warning!
If you take yourself too seriously, lack a sense of humour, or believe being offended is some kind of superpower, this site isn’t for you.
Seriously – hit the back button before your delicate sensibilities implode.
Offence is your choice, not our problem. Laugh, join in, or jog on.
There’s a world of beige blogs out there full of soup recipes and self-help quotes.
This isn’t one of them.
I’m a web designer, internet marketer, and full-time internet hermit. My days are spent wrestling with broken websites, decoding SEO gibberish, and suffering routine emotional breakdowns courtesy of Microsoft updates or Google deciding it hates me – again.
It was either find an outlet or start talking to the toaster.
Enter: Moose Almighty and a decent bottle of single malt whisky. Together, they form the unholy alliance that keeps me (mostly) sane and stops me from running naked into the sea screaming “404!”
Now, let’s get something straight – I’m not here to become one of those smoothie-sipping, Peloton-pedalling, inspirational quote-spouting influencers. I’m just here for a bit of mischief, mild oversharing, and to scream into the digital void like a proper adult.
Once upon a time, rugby was my stress relief. Then age, gravity, and a waistline with its own postcode stepped in. Now, the only thing I’m tackling is whether to open the whisky or the emergency whisky. Spoiler: it’s both.
Hence, this site. It’s not a lifestyle blog. It’s more of a ‘midlife crisis meets drunken insanity’ sort of situation.
Welcome to The World According To Moose.
Welcome To My Therapy. Enjoy The Chaos.
I am The Moose, and you can find out who I am on the ‘About Page’.
The World According to Moose is a cheeky, no-nonsense corner of the internet where British wit, satire, and the occasional rant collide. I (and others) poke fun at politics, culture, and the everyday absurdities of life – usually with an obscene amount of alcohol. Basically, if Britain had a sense of humour (like it used to), it would look a lot like this website.
Not really. The news tells you what happened. We tell you what matters (sort of). Think of us as the naughty cousin of news: we read the headlines, laugh, swear a bit, then write what everyone is actually thinking. A bit like a satirical pub conversation in written form. We take real stories and issues and give them the Moose Almighty spin.
Absolutely. If there’s a story, trend, or piece of nonsense you’d like us to rip into, drop us a message through the contact form or comment on a post. We can’t promise we’ll cover everything, but we do love fresh ideas.
Yes, we welcome guest writers who can roast politicians harder than a Gregg’s pasty fresh out of the oven. If you can string sentences together, be funny without being a fucking woke prat, and know the difference between ‘your’, and ‘you’re’, then maybe. Pitch us something. Worst case, we ignore you. Best case, you get published (with full credit, of course) and you make your mum proud.
Mostly. But let’s be honest: half the time satire and taking the piss is the only way to process living in a country where the rivers (and parliament) are full of turds, it costs over £8 for a pint in a pub and Liz Truss was actually Prime Minister for 44 days.
Yes, but you’ll need to sign up using the registration form. Rules are simple: be funny, be civil, don’t be a knob and don’t be up your own arse. Otherwise, you’re out quicker than a Tory MP at a moral’s seminar.
The easiest way is to subscribe to our newsletter or follow Moose Almighty on social media.
Please do! All we ask is that you credit Moose Almighty and don’t edit the content in a way that misrepresents the integrity and honour of The Moose (like I have any of those).
Because ‘Grumpy British Blog’ sounded boring and ‘Satirical British Blog with Too Many Opinions’ was too long. The moose is our spirit animal: slightly ridiculous, strangely majestic, just as confused about life as the rest of us and not afraid to stomp through nonsense when needed – just like us.
Get in touch to pitch us an idea or an article.
If you are found worthy, you could join the Moose Almighty Family.